WTF is THAT?! Tissue?!

I need help/advice.

Warning: details follow.

Oh, man. So late last night I my period started. This is the first one since the retrieval, so it's usually pretty nasty. It was just a bit of bleeding last night. Today was really the first day.

Here's the freak out: I was in the bathroom and I looked down and on my pad was a piece of tissue. Literally, I looked at it and went "oh my god". So I had to examine it. It wasn't a clot - I do get clots, especially after a retrieval, and I know what those are. This had some blood on it, but it was skin like.

So some googling around suggests that this was normal endometrial tissue and that These Things Happen and that I Shouldn't Be Alarmed. Has anyone had this happen to them? It freaks me out to have fleshy parts of my inside ending up outside....

Post-Retrieval

I haven't posted much since the retrieval because things were busy. I started running again after about a week (I know, I know. I should have waited 10 days at least). The 2-3lbs of water weight went away after about 3 days.

Thursday was 2 weeks-post retrieval. I can still feel some things in there, and I need to keep reminding myself that I'm still recovering.

The only down side - the last birth control pill of this pack will be Wednesday. I'm running a race on Sunday, which should be right in the middle of the first-period-after-retrieval carnage. This happened last year, too, and I almost had to cut a race short.

In other news, Cat Ashworth said she will send some videos of the sonogram and such for me to post on my blog (I need to email her back - I just found that message and saw I never responded). So that should be fun and interesting.

Done

I should have posted earlier. The retrieval is done and it went well. The anesthesiologist took care of me, and I didn't have any problems after retrieval. I was even able to go to class Thursday evening.

Now, about 5 days later, my innards are still swollen and sore, but I can feel them getting better. I have other things to post, but will do that soon. V. busy now...

FINALLY

I told them today "I don't care what your tests show. I'm taking that damned shot tonight and showing up for a retrieval on Thursday whether you want me or not!"

But the threats (serious as they were) turned out to be unnecessary. When I got the call, I quickly took the phone off the hook so they couldn't call and change their minds and that shot went in right at 8:30 tonight.

Good news is that my favorite doctor will be doing the retrieval, and he has also said he'd talk to the anesthesiologist. He was pissed when he found out how hard the recovery was last time. He will be a good guy to have on my side.

An interesting note: my eye is twitching and has been for a week. I don't have eye twitches. The only other time this happened was right before I defended my dissertation. That was, coincidentally, also right before a retrieval. It could be that I have a bunch of stress now like I did then (and I'm always doing a cycle, so it's not shocking that they match up), but I wonder if the twitch is actually a side effect of the lupron or the stims...

My Dream

I had a terrible night last night. I was crying when I tried to go to bed because I am so freaked out about my retrieval now being ONE DAY from my family's visit. The family doesn't know about the donation, and this is WAY too close for comfort. I am also terrified that they will try to push it off another day. I *can't* do the retrieval Friday, and while I know it is 99.9% sure that it won't get pushed off, what a mess that would be. I'm going to make it very clear to them today that it will NOT be possible on Friday.

Anyway, I dreamt that I was watching TV and my recipient family was on there being interviewed. They said "Well we were ready to get the eggs on Wednesday, but now we've pushed it back to Thursday. We might even do it Friday." And the interviewer goes "Well why would they keep pushing it back like that" and the woman responds "There is something wrong with her estrogen levels. Frankly, the doctors think she might be intentionally sabotaging the cycle because she doesn't want to do it." My dreaming self was mortified that the clinic would think that I would intentionally do anything to ruin a cycle. I kept wondering how my estrogen could be low and that maybe I had been using the gonal-f pen wrong the whole time.

Then, starting at 4:20, I woke up about every 20 minutes. By 7:30 I was staying awake for 10 minutes at a time. So at 8am I gave up. This is SO unlike me to be up at this hour. I feel very surreal.

stupid estrogen

I had SIX GIANT FOLLICLES today and was all set to take my gonadotropin at 8:30 tonight and when I got home I had a message that said no, not tonight. NOT TONIGHT?!!? I HAVE SIX GIANT FOLLICLES!! That's FOUR MORE than I need. The only thing that can be going on is that my estrogen levels were wrong.

I sobbed and sobbed. I am so tired of this and my life and schedule just keeps getting more difficult as they put this off. > : []

Miscalculation

Somewhere I miscalculated. My retrieval definitely won't be Tuesday. Wednesday should be the day. This is a hell of a lot less convenient, but oh well. Today's sonogram went well. More details tomorrow.