Very very stressed
The fertility center called last week and asked me to do another donation. I would have said no right off - I am very busy with work, I need to run to keep my sanity, and after the weeks of sobbing with the last one, I know that it will really mess me up. My ex husband who was so supportive is also not here now, so I'll be completely on my own.
But the couple are people who were recipients previously. Their FET failed and they want another donation to have a sibling of the child they had from my first donation. I felt like I couldn't say no to that.
Every time I think about this cycle, I am seized with anxiety. A deep physical reaction. Everything in me is screaming "no, not again" except for this sense of moral obligation. The cycle is scheduled for October. I just don't know what to do.