Recipients
The families who get my eggs are five big mysteries to me. Seven big mysteries if you count the two families who are waiting in line to get them later this summer.
At our clinic, everything is kept totally secret. I don't get to know *anything* about the recipients. I never even get to find out if they get pregnant from the donation. When I had my psych screening, they asked about how I thought of this donation. I think of egg donation a lot like I think of bone marrow donation. It's sort of a process to go through, and it's something you do to help the recipient. I don't think of the resulting children as mine, any more than I'd think of a bone marrow recipient as my clone (I know it's different, but we're talking about how I consider it, not the biology of it).
That said, I really really would like to know if the recipient of my eggs gets pregnant. I have so much sympathy for them, and I'm rooting for them, but I never get to know how things turned out. It's like rooting for your favorite baseball team in a game, but never being allowed to see who won.
When I go in for the actual donation, they actually hide me and my escorting husband away in a room. When we're ready to leave, they quickly usher us out so we don't run into the recipient accidentally while we're there.
The only contact I've ever had with a family is an anonymous exchange of cards through the egg coordinator. I gave them a congratulations card (to be delivered if they got pregnant). They gave me an REI gift card as an extra thank you for donating.
I think my recipients must be getting pregnant, though. Apparently, when choosing a donor, one of the big things to look for are previous pregnancies resulting from that person's donated eggs. I think part of the high demand for me must be 1) the big pile of eggs I produce and 2) the fact that they lead to pregnancy. If that's true, there should be at least 2 children out there that have come from my donation. It makes me so happy to think of those two families who worked and struggled so long to finally have their kids. And it's really rewarding to know that I did something to help them get there.
E.D. @ 10:51 PM
3 Comments:
I think the fact that you've been requested so often does suggest your recipients have been successful.
Thank you for what you do for these couples. I don't know if DE is in my future or not, but I really appreciate what you are doing.
susie
notahabit
I have donated once and am about to head into my second cycle, the agency that I work with provides me with legal representation and I sign a contract regarding each donation, while each initial contract has stated that I will not recieve notification if the couple concieves I in both cases have had the partner negotiate that I merely be notified if the couple is successfull in concieving and giving birth to a healthy child. In both cases this has been approved... you may want to look into this.
My RE handles his own supply of local egg donors and I was told that my egg donor had a successful pregnancy result from her donation after my first try using her eggs failed. The second try using frozen embryos from the first cycle did succeed, and I see that she is still listed on the website as a potential donor. I have assumed that my RE told her about the other couple and our own successful pregnancy and that they will tell her about the births when they happen.
I sure hope they will tell her.
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